Writer's Block: It's just what I wanted
Do you prefer telling people what gifts you want to receive or being surprised?

Honestly...this would depend on the person who is giving the gift. 

BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIENDS: It's more fun for your lover to guess and get it right. It shows how much they love or know you. AND the amount of effort put into the presentation is something to take into account as well. :) My boyfriend asked me what I wanted, and got it, but it was the way that it was given that was the best part. He put together a scavenger hunt type thing throughout the school, for me to find it. It was adorable, and made me think, "Wow, this guy really wants to make me happy...", so you can see how the guessing would be the way to go for this...plus, it makes the person think of the one they love more than just..."Alright, that's one gift down! SCORE!" 

FRIENDS: It's also fun(ny) for a friend to guess....But my best gal-pal and I, told each other flat out what we wanted and what we were gonna get. We went to wal-mart and picked. And that was fun, and easy and it takes out the stress of having to guess or getting two of the same gift.

FAMILY: Alright. As long as it's family, it's the thought that counts. HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION: My grandmother hasn't seen me since I was into Barbie ten years ago, I'm seventeen years old now, and for Christmas she sends me Barbie's Dream Boat, It's the thought that counts, and it shows that she was trying and thinking about me. :) 

So. That's my take on it. BUT maybe...It all depends on your relationship on the said person. Happy Holidays friends!

Love, Emily Lynn

Hey, I've Been Thinking---
Maybe we were supposed to meet. 
You smiled at me without knowing who I was
Walking into my life, like a melody off beat.
I don't know why...
Don't know what I did to deserve all the thoughts and love from you.

Are there words to describe my joy and wonder? If so,
I doubt they would bring justice to the way I feel for you!
...All I can say is this: You are my Romeo...
Will you let me be your Juliet?

{Just something really short....and plain...and young....}


My Promise
 {This is a poem that I wrote when I was about fifteen. I don't know whether it's good or not...Well, here you go, stranger.}


This is a promise I believe is worth making.
One that upon each dawn, I will commit to.
A promise to focus, listen to and learn from 
A promise to greet each morning as a blessing, honor and opportunity
A promise to see each day and the sun and the moon.
See it, and greet them with a sweet, singing smile
all the while acknowledging that what happened yesterday is done and cannot be changed.
Also to know that i have a choice, a say in what scene comes next
Those choices lead to my tomorrow
Right now i ma making a Promise, an oath, to do my best to understand the reason's for what has                taken place, by changing the coarse of any life in minuscule to major ways
This is my promise
That is my oath.

My Personal Narrative
Women’s health and self-image as well as the effect of media on my age group has always interested and affected me. There are people who say that the media cannot and does not affect a person’s life choices and we do things by our own will. In contrast, there is the side which says media has a strong affect on everyone and there is a certain amount of brainwashing taking place with every T.V. drama we watch. I subscribe to the compromise between the two ideas. To me, every person makes their own decisions, however the media has a large influence over those choices.

Since the beginning of middle school and on, I have been a constant witness and victim of media’s influences. Focusing on myself, I have always noticed the differences between myself and other girls. I am a Latina girl, which comes with curves and a dark complexion…much unlike most of the girls in any place I’ve ever been (excluding California), who were tall, with boyish hips and light or fair skin tones and hair. Even on television, the girls were all thin and definitely not as curvy as I. Seeing this more and more I began to think I was abnormal, and overweight. During middle school, I was average weight and average height, but I didn’t’ see average. I compared myself to the girls I went to class with, and made it my goal to be just like tem. I tried everything, and went from healthy dieting to extreme in very little time.
My mother has been dieting since before I can remember, so it was easy for me to join her an start. I did as my mother did. We worked out together and ate the same things. And when she changed her diet, so did I. WE TRIED EVERYTHING. You name the diet and I can almost always say, “yep, done it!”. For me, not matter the diet, I was not seeing any physical change. My mom told me to be patient and I was…for a while. After waiting and weighing and waiting some more, I decided to change it up and take into my own (incapable) hands. I put myself on a crash diet. Starving for days, then eating a ton, then starving again. I even went so far as trying to purge…But that, was not for me. I increased my exercising routine, and ate less. This, I discovered, worked. I lost weight quickly and steadily. Every pair of my pants were loose and my shirts were a little baggy in the chest area. This was my success and reward. Remember, this was middle school, about seventh grade. My parents were busy, but sooner than later, my mom noticed the changes in my attitude first, (I became more irritable), then my drastic weight loss which I was the start of all the questions about my eating habits, and my answers made them worry. To follow up on my answers they started at my reasoning for such an extreme method. I was embarrassed to tell hem my reasons, even when they were, to me, perfectly understandable. I explained how I’d observed that girls at school and on the television were not a s curvy, and how were all lighter complexioned. My parents, mainly my mom told me how it was joust my body type and how all my differences set me apart and made me beautiful. But I was an insecure preteen girl, and being different was NOT good. I wanted to be ‘normal’.

My parents made me promise to eat, and they put up meal plans to make sure I did. I made the promise and broke it, usually giving my food away at school or just throwing it out. However, I couldn’t avoid dinner or weekend meals. My eating was sporadic at best but it was a huge change from eating almost nothing to eating almost two to three meals a day. My weight loss slowed and eventually, I started gaining weight again. My mother noticed, but didn’t seem to mind it. I was starting to look healthy again to other people by my self-image was twisting farther and farther down the drain. I saw fat. That’s all.

As I transitioned into high school , I naturally slimmed down slightly. I grew into my curves and I was actually a healthy looking girl. My eating habits were improved but poor. I had developed a fear of eating in front of people and always claimed that I wasn’t hungry or that I had just ate. My mom an did I frequent discussions about the media. We believe that it is changing the expectations of girls, making us think we need to be a size00 and a DD cup size. I was angry. Yet, I continued letting the media influence me. I still eat the bare minimum, and lie when I’m asked if I want anything to eat.

Over the years, my mind and my body have changed. I’m still curvy; I stand at five feet tall, and have dark eyes that people constantly say are black. I’m still terribly self conscious. But I always receive compliments on how beautiful people think I am, and how great my personality is. I hear all of it, I enjoy it, sometimes believe it…then I see how beautiful I think other girls are at school and on television. That’s where my progress would end. Recently, I’ve accepted my looks and my body for what they are: different. I am beautiful in my own ways. I know this and I’ve grown into some kind of understanding and knowledge of this where I don’t need validation from others to see it. This is the understanding that all women and girls need.
It is important for young girls to reach this point early because as they grow, their understanding will help them to develop confidence and positive self-image, similar to my own. Also, as these young girls grow into young women, then gain families, they may pass these lessons onto their own daughters who will, mo doubt struggle, but sooner accept the fact that they are beautiful. No matter what.

p.s. this is a multi-genre piece for my senior project which is a study on the affect media has on young women's self esteem and image.

Writer's Block: 10 Years From Now
Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

     In ten years...Wow. It seems far away. So far! But you know what? I know it's so close. There are a few things that I want to be in ten years. I want to be married, or steady with someone. I want to be happy.. I'll be twenty seven. Is that unreasonable or absurd?

     But, my home will be beautiful. It'll be in a  w h o l e s o m e  neighborhood, like you see in the movies. With a porch and hanging flower pots that face the sun, both setting and rising. My husband/boyfriend will be clean cut, and I'll be a hairstylist and a freelance artist/photographer/musician. He will come home from work, newspaper in hand and give me a warm and loving peck on the cheek when I'm at my easel, all paint-splattered from the day, say hello and I'll turn around and give him a big smooch on the lips careful not to touch him with my hands...Then ask him how his day at work was, he will tell me all about it, and I will listen very attentively, and then he will ask me how my clients were, and ask about my art. He will listen and give me that warm smile that melts my heart every time.
     We will spend the nights in each others arms, sharing kisses and smiles, watching television and making fun of the stupid drama shows and such. ha-ha.
     I t  w i l l  b e  w o n d e r f u l  a n d  b e a u t i f u l  !

     I don't think I'm a dreamer, I think I'm realistic and a hopeless romantic.

Emily Lynn

I'm Back...maybe.
 So...Here I am again. I admit. I don't write of much substance, if at all. What I recall writing is just some silly teenage girl gibberish. I want to write about things that matter. So maybe we should start with a lesson I knew but had never experienced.

I'm a smart girl. I am. I am wise beyond my years and my parents say I have an "old soul" like my aunt. But...This I believe has made me arrogant. And in my arrogance, I thought myself immune to common teenage girl mistakes. I had gone seventeen years without a first kiss. or a boyfriend...Until this July. It recently ended at my parents bidding after doing something i knew i wasn't ready for, but wanted just the same. I didn't want it to end, I care for him still and we are on good terms because we didn't wrong each other, and we didn't intentionally hurt the other.

My actions have taught me a lot. and i know it will be a long time until i truly feel like myself again. But i know I will be okay. I don't want anyone who reads this to think I'm an incredibly religious person. Because I'm not.  But I was raised a non-traditional Mormon and I haven't been to church in years, but i pray and i know he'll get me through this. 

But anyway, I said I was taught a lot. And what I've learned was this: 

You have to love yourself first. Before you can love or be truly loved by another person!!!

He had told me he loved me...and I believed him. I really really did. And even though I knew I didn't, I told him I loved him too. We dated for...I think three months, about the average time limit. But I shouldn't have. I got invested in it too soon. And how can a girl who doesn't truly know herself give herself so completely to someone else? She can't. Not rightfully.

I don't know where to go with this lesson. Because it's late, and I'm tired. And have to get up early for school tomorrow. But promises to continue this lesson learned session later.

<3Emily Lynn 

So, What?
H e l l o. Often, I write about things that don't matter. These things are just my thoughts...11:11...make a wish. But I want to write things that have reason, meaning....So, what? But this is different for all of us. There are different levels of importance to each person. Never the same, and never crystal clear. 
To me, well, I used to think anything deep meant dark, sad things. But as I am growing older, I am beginning to realize that this just isn't the case. Something that is meant to make you ponder for a moment. A question that is asked, that cannot be answered in a New York minute. It makes you think. For example. What is love? It's not dark, or sad. It's happy. Heavy but happy! And it makes you think. 
The levels are always changing for everyone. Like I said...I am learning as I grow what deep thoughts really are. Intellectual, loaded, and filled with more questions. Train thoughts. Starting at one question, then letting loose all sorts of other questions that make you question yourself, and helps you work things out in your own time. Yet, still, right when you believe you have it clear in your own head, it changes. Even just a slight change, it changes the way you see things without you even realizing it...
So, what? What do I write about that could be "deep and important"? I am sure I don't know.

Taste the Pickle. It might Yodel.

Writer's Block: Out of fashion
If you could choose which fashions would go out of style permanently, what would you choose, and why?

If I could choose a fashion that would go out of style permanently... Well, one of them would be the tights/leggings as pants. My reason for this is for public decency. Just because you can wear it, doesn't mean you should. If you were to wear leggings or tights, it just shows off everything, It's basically like going around pants-less but colored. I do not enjoy this. This is also because, with the tights/leggings, comes the t-shirts that are being used as dresses. This is stupid, if they were meant to be dresses, they would be sold as dresses rather than large shirts. Duh. I for one take part into the most simple staples there are. These include white t-shirts (long sleeved and short) and dark jeans, a jacket of course, usually with some flats or converse. I don't wear very many colors, mostly white, black, grey, and dark washed blue... jeans of course.

Taste the Pickle. It might Yodle.

Emily Lynn.

At 2:10 AM... This is what I'm doing...
Good morning (It's 3:07 AM here so. yeah morning). So, this is what I'm doing in the wee hours of the morning. It's a school night, and tomorrow there is school. And I am at a friends house, we both think we should skip first period tomorrow, but I'm a afraid to do so. I promised to another friend that I wouldn't skip classes anymore. But the thing is that i haven't really gotten much sleep lately, because there are a lot of things going on in my life.
Jessy is asleep on the couch right now. She has moved once in about 5 hours. Hm...I'm tired but I don't want to sleep...More that I can't sleep than not wanting to. So, yeah, I need sleep. We are/were watching Gilmore Girls...I think the fifth season. Now I am just rambling. Hm. Word association time because then I get to go off on something that I remember.
Let's start with, RED. RED, soccor, cody, kevin, GREEN, apple, crunch, cerial, killer, fork, brandon, day, sky, sunny, BLUE.....Ok, I'm so tired. I don't want to be here. I want to be at home in the shower...Or in bed asleep. Oooo....I took a nap...A short one...So, yeah....That was nice... God I am tired. Stupid basket...Someday, hat, Luke. You know what? This is nice. I need to talk to you. Silly town thing. Rory, hanging out with this guy. Bad news. A complete jerk. Fights. Bothers to show up. Always around. Jealous, nice to everyone. Trouble. useing her to drive me crazy. Flying off the handle. I know this. I hope you are right. Ayn Ran. Crazy. Monologue. Why are you only nice to me. Screwing with Dean. So it was a plan. I'm officially starving. Pepperoni, I insist. Lost bracelet. Jesse. Hanging out with Dean. Get pizza. Book store, Hillmans' mayonnaise, I'll be in my room. So how was the picnic? Smoothing is good... Good. Pizza books. I never have anything to say. Got a good side to him. Things I see, things I hear. Fighting cutting school. Running to my mother. Off with Jesse. Jesse out bid him. Rule. Not about the rules. Enemies. Everyone has good inside. Oh my God. Why the hell. Guys like this... With you of all people. He probably what to talk to you anyway...Hm...
I'm hungry...What do I want? What do I want? A shower some sleep.....
Ok. I'm tired. I'll dose now. 

Taste the Pickle. It might Yodel.

(no subject)

...From Before:

When I want to make a video, I always have to wait until everyone leaves the house because I'm always afraid that people will make fun of me because they think I made an imaginary friend...But I haven't done that for years....ha....But really, I mean my parents always seem to find some excuse to interrupt whaterver I am doing. SO, empty house equals freedom to work.

Taste the Pickle. It might Yodle.


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